Paulo Coelho-ing

1)Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.

2)“I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living now.”

3)“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"

4)"When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself."

5)"A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires."

6)"Love is not a habit, a commitment, or a debt. It isn't what romantic songs tell us it is - love simply is."

7)"Certain things in life simply have to be experienced -and never explained. Love is such a thing."

Lets Go Anywhere :D

When I learnt driving this year, ( and scared my instructor with my affinity for accelerators and fourth gears) I always thought driving was more fun than being driven around [I maintain,driving in highways gives me a high. My mission in life : drive along the sea. Road to Kalpakkam, or Port Blair or Marine drive]. Well, to amend, I like being driven around in jeeps. Open jeeps. Gives a safari feeling,doesn't it? And the places I went to in open jeeps, remote corners of jungles and middle of nowhere in deserts. Is it a wonder I have fallen in love with this vehicle? It takes me places.:D

Desert Night -The skies were never ending, inky black with thousands of stars when the jeep started climbing the desert. Desert for miles at end, a feeling you have entered a globe, or a live planetarium that tells you are in the beginning of time? I never felt so overwhelmed...or tiny. I was staring up at the open roof at the skies and then it was time to get down. The sand was cold! [ yeah, we all removed our shoes just once,to walk and see how the sand felt]. And it was pitch black. We were grabbing for each other's hands, and wondering which one is which, and went further in the desert to get our bonfire lit. Once the bonfire was lit, and everyone's faces were finally visible. We huddled up in blankets enduring the desert chill, sat on rugs, stared at the bonfire and the skies, drank up [hey,it helps the cold. *shrugs*], ate our dinner. We heard jackals howling in the distance, till then I was sure I was listening to the silence. [ yeah,you heard me.That's exactly what I mean]. Oh,and our guide told us 50 km to the west was Pakistan border. I would have loved to have seen that.
When it was time to go, the jeep had come for us again. We chased long eared rabbit, apparently only seen around there.
Its fast!
And as we got down the desert,it got considerably warmer, the magic was wearing off, and we got off the jeep, it was time to close the bottle.

The evening on Jim Corbett- Granted, we only saw paw prints [but they were fresh!], back of a wild boar scurrying to the deeper part of the forest, a herd of spotted deers, and not a whisker of a tiger, I still loved the jungle ride. Firstly, jeep rides are lot more fun standing up and you can feel like Superman because of the wind 'whoosh-ing' past your cheek. And you are snaking your way into the jungle,where it is eerily quiet. Even the birds had stopped calling. It made me feel they were watching us, and were aware of our presence. [ How could they not? with the amount of noise made.I'm surprised they didn't come out and ask everyone to shut up] But the trees, the river, the sunset between the green, and the moonlit night in the thicket of the jungle. I was surprised my imagination didn't go into overdrive and start imagining a Woman in White asking for lifts. The evening got colder and colder, and I was hammered into my seat, both hands in my pocket, and hoping I would not fall out of the jeep since I was sitting on the side or because our driver went crazy on the wheel.
Have I mentioned how tall the trees were? It made you feel claustrophobic and free at the same time. Especially in the night.

Getting back to the city after all that was strange. :D


So, Jeeps are officially my favorite form of transport. The can take you anywhere,nowhere,everywhere.They are a lot more fun.
And why don't tigers attack jeeps? Apparently, it looks like a bigger,but not edible,beast.
Lmao.

PS- being driven around is only fun when a hot guy in his sleek, sexy car takes you around. And he plays old rock and roll songs in the car. ;) or maybe just bike rides?

PPS- I'm still not confident about my driving,so if you ever risk sitting with me,make sure you are insured. :D

<3>

Take it slow this time, will ya?

I never thought of myself as sentimental, ( or maybe I have a hard time admitting I am?) so it becomes quite a discovery when I hold onto old stuff that have long gone. Old friendships, yeah the ones you think can last forever, are disintegrating right in front of my eyes and I am trying to hold on too tight, like a jealous guard of a treasure chest. My old notebooks, diaries,drawings, magazines, notes I used to pass my friends, even blank papers which I saved from my schoolbooks because they weren't used, are lying dusty underneath the old table which we got as a hand me down in Chennai. Honestly, my mother has been after my life asking me to sort them out, throw the useless ones away or at least dust them. :P

But I can't. I can't decide what I don't want, I want to keep them all. ( greedy? :D) Likewise, distance and time puts dust on a lot of relationships I'd rather keep on the shelf, than accept things as they are and clear them out. Relationships are trickier than memories, I have learnt. You just can't neglect the growing dust. And this year, I saw a lot of it.

And that weren't the only things changing. My life was changing, I discovered my love for travelling. ( I have been travelling my whole life and I realise I can't give it up only after I walk into the main city of Jaiselmer and look at the golden houses. -.- too late for epiphanies,dont you think?) And along with adrenaline-rush experiences come car accidents,jeep-tilting,creepy isolated villages, disastrous reunions, much anticipated meetings that don't happen and sacrileges in jungles. [ I'll make a list of things I can't forget later :p]

So 2011, take it slow,will ya? I had one hell of a year and I'd like a quiet pace of life back for sometime please.

Oh,on my birthday that is just days away now, I'd like to know what i want on that day. (another clearing head session needed) For planning purposes,you see. :D

Eowyn

"What do you fear, my lady?"

"A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire."

I understand that too well :D I fear am already in one though.

Me fav sequence :D The real folk blues

Faye : Where are you goin'? Why are you goin'?

Spike :...........

Faye : you told me once to forget the past. That it didn't matter. But you are the one still tied to the past Spike!

Spike :Look at these eyes,Faye.One of them is a fake,because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I have seen the past in one eye, and the present in the other. I thought I saw patches of reality,never the whole picture..

Faye : Don't tell me the things like that. You have never told me about your past so don't tell me now.

Spike :I thought I was I watching a dream that I could never wake from. Before I knew it, the dream was over..

Faye : My memory...returned. But,nothing good came of it...there was no place I could return to. This was the only place I could go....and now,you are leaving,just like that!

Why do you have to go? Where are you going? What are you going to do...just throw your life away like it was nothing?

Spike : I am not going there to die...I am going to find out if I am really alive,I have to do this,Faye.

(Spike walks away)

(Faye points the gun at his back...but then she raises it up and fires shots into the air)

(Spike walks away)

~me and Amy agreed we relate to fay here the best :D and is one of our fav sequences in bebop,second only to Ballad of Fallen Angels ~

~ * ~

Your time moves in such a gentle,unhurried pace,

it touches like the soothing ebb and flow of a tide,

bring back things that I had once lost.

Your time blows like wind by the sea shore,

the one that holds a distinct flavor,

blows with vigor and yet gently caresses the cheek.

Your time calms with its timelessness,

like the foam of the ocean that washes the feet,

pleasant and healing.

Your time has been a precious gift,

moving like a dream that doesn't intend to end,

moving at different pace than the outside world.

This time is what I want to savour,

however,little it is,

drink this till the last drop

and see whether am still insatiable.

Untitled :D

If my own feelings were a disillusion,

an Achilles heel in my armor,

who would betray my own self,

I would have chosen my hate over my love.

The blood from this betrayal would seep and soak the ground,

it will enamor its flavor onto the earth,

and this ground will reek of malice.

Love will bring life to this clay doll I have now become?

I am certain anger would suffice.

~O~

A memento for one of my fav movies : MEMENTO

Quotes by Leornard Shelby: (Guy Pearce; he did brilliant in this movie <3)

1) Memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if you have the facts. [couldn't have put it better myself]

2)I have to believe in a world outside my own mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning, even if I can't remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are closed, the world's still there. Do I believe the world's still there? Is it still out there? … Yeah. We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I'm no different … now … where was I? [nice end. A moment of self knowledge and self realisation..and that memory wiped clean once again. Really,are we so sure that this guy is different from us?]

3) I don't even know how long she's been gone. It's like I've woken up in bed and she's not here … because she's gone to the bathroom or something. But somehow, I know she's never gonna come back to bed. If I could just … reach over and touch … her side of the bed, I would know that it was cold, but I can't. I know I can't have her back … but I don't want to wake up in the morning, thinking she's still here. I lie here not knowing … how long I've been alone. So how … how can I heal? How am I supposed to heal if I can't … feel time? [ this line hits me whenever it comes in the movie..the lines are painful on paper themselves.]

4) There are things you know for sure.I know what that's going to sound like when I knock on it. I know that's what going to feel like when I pick it up. See? Certainties. It's the kind of memory that you take for granted. [Touche']

"So you lie to yourself to be happy. There's nothing wrong with that. We all do it."-Teddy Gammell.

Leonard Shelby: I don't think they'd let someone like me carry a gun.

Teddy: I f---ing hope not. [ me : lmao]

Ballad of the Undead

Revive me from the dead,

I'm searching for the strength to get up from this paralysis.

Don't tell me this search is futile,

that I am nothing but an empty corpse,

that once this dagger had struck,

my recesses have left me in this lurch.

Will I be able to get up,

from the ashes of my vicious will?

Do I have to haunt the night,

to experience the sad joy of being alive?

This cold emptiness would drive me insane.

Oh, won't you give me a reason?

Dig up these graves and open this coffin,

give me a purpose for the midnight prowl.

Don't tell me it is futile,

that this search is endless,

that I am nothing but a shell.

Let me lie to myself,

that I am still alive.

That I am still breathing.

That I have something to hold onto.

That I can get up from this slumber,

and awaken into my life.

Life inside a Pandora's Box

It is pitch black.

It had always been.

She had been in love with the Darkness,she was in love with the never ending , omnipresent nature of it. Now, for the first time,she was truly frightened of it. Where does it begin,where does it end?

She was Lost,her inner compass had gone haywire.

She didn't know where to turn. Was this Darkness an enclosed space? Was it why she was mapping out her own loneliness,clawing at the dark walls for a way out?

What was the world like outside?

Are the winds changing?


Why is the world constant when she is changing?

She feels the currents around her,but she has no direction. She lets the currents wash her ashore. Was she supposed to feel her way through to find a path she would have strength to stand tall?

Her only sense of self was left in the pain that was anchoring her sanity.

How was she supposed to let that go when she couldn't remember herself without it?

Ghost

Bound to the earth,
by an unwavering desire.
A shadow of the former self,
a vacuous shell I am,
moving through the world of the living,
present but not acknowledged,
not unwelcome.

An outsider,
who is free to love,
free to hate.
No more bound to the intricacies,
to the world of the living,
as I am to the dead.
I accept the hollowness of this freedom,
walking with the remembrance of an old life,
clinging onto the pleasing deja vu.

A ghost I am,
belonging to none.