I never thought of myself as sentimental, ( or maybe I have a hard time admitting I am?) so it becomes quite a discovery when I hold onto old stuff that have long gone. Old friendships, yeah the ones you think can last forever, are disintegrating right in front of my eyes and I am trying to hold on too tight, like a jealous guard of a treasure chest. My old notebooks, diaries,drawings, magazines, notes I used to pass my friends, even blank papers which I saved from my schoolbooks because they weren't used, are lying dusty underneath the old table which we got as a hand me down in Chennai. Honestly, my mother has been after my life asking me to sort them out, throw the useless ones away or at least dust them. :P
But I can't. I can't decide what I don't want, I want to keep them all. ( greedy? :D) Likewise, distance and time puts dust on a lot of relationships I'd rather keep on the shelf, than accept things as they are and clear them out. Relationships are trickier than memories, I have learnt. You just can't neglect the growing dust. And this year, I saw a lot of it.
And that weren't the only things changing. My life was changing, I discovered my love for travelling. ( I have been travelling my whole life and I realise I can't give it up only after I walk into the main city of Jaiselmer and look at the golden houses. -.- too late for epiphanies,dont you think?) And along with adrenaline-rush experiences come car accidents,jeep-tilting,creepy isolated villages, disastrous reunions, much anticipated meetings that don't happen and sacrileges in jungles. [ I'll make a list of things I can't forget later :p]
So 2011, take it slow,will ya? I had one hell of a year and I'd like a quiet pace of life back for sometime please.
Oh,on my birthday that is just days away now, I'd like to know what i want on that day. (another clearing head session needed) For planning purposes,you see. :D
Loved the post cos well I'm a lot like that too.I hold onto stuff I have from way back as well.sentimental fool?yeah perhaps so.I do keep em sorted though.most of em atleast.
ReplyDeleteI've been getting the feeling all the more lately.Friends from school,pu college...well I've never had a *best friend forever* so can't say much but nevertheless...people who'd care enough to talk to me...I consider them my friends...Its all the more hard when you see life moving too fast.All the things you're gonna lose out on soon.Things you're gonna miss though if given a chance you'd have loved to be there once more.maybe even done something different.
Its weird.I know I'm at fault too for not trying but thing is I give a lot more importance to them than they do for me.I am and always have been the expendable one but its cool :D
2011 is gonna be one hell of a year for me.Doesn't seem like its gonna slow down.rather its gonna get into hyperdrive for me but hope it slows down for you...lol