Confessional Letter to Spilts-vela (pun intended)

Dear Splits-Vela,
The only intelligent audience you are going to get is a bunch a hypocrites who find a pathetic show,a host who wears the expression of being completely lost as to what he is doing there,and a bunch of contestants who willingly signed on to make a spectacle of themselves on national television extremely entertaining.
It is truly pitiful what you do to your contestants.Biotechnology may graft human ear on the back of a rat to see if it makes any difference to the rat.In the same grotesque fashion,your contestants are put through a series of twists to show the nation the ugliest sides of human personality.And to show them strings of abuses people can combine and create in one day.Too bad it is beeped out.That would have been very educational.In the end,everyone looks like a jackass chasing a carrot.Or like a guinea pig that has been experimented on.Neither very flattering for any sane person's ego.
I have to hand it to you though. Where did you gather such people from to ship them off for one month of utter jobless-ness in Goa? Planet Desperate or Planet Jobless? Whichever planet they come from,their education differs from ours.Here is a classic example :- King Mohit had said ,"Ritika is a very influential person and someone might have influenced her".Right.
O King! Thou has struck me dumb,please teach me English! And Nalini classifying frogs as 'reptiles'.Clearly,from the planet they come from,they are not amphibians.
And what is with the girls you have picked? I doubt most people would mind skimpily clad girls trying to woo them,but hey, I have a few questions-do you pay them to make their grey cells numb during the show? Are they doing this on purpose? Do they want to make other intelligent women claw their hair out in frustration?Or are they really that dumb?Well,as long as they keep hormone-driven my-brain-is between-my-legs men happy,I guess the show is going to be sailing smoothly.After all,the perception of sexiness the male contestants have on the show is,"Woh kaisi lagti hai,the way she looks,the way she talks.."
I have a message for the contestants though.Is this really what you want? Everything so intrinsic and intimate to you,laid out there for everyone to see and judge? I guess the answer is 'yes' seeing you have auditioned for the show.Oh and Bhav Aman,underestimating the little intelligence your opponents have isn't smart at all.And blind bats have better wit than most contestants on the show who love washing dirty linen in public.

Go milk a cow,
Stop saying ,"where love is war" all the time,we get your point,
With everlasting love,
A hypocrite.