Dedicated to my brother

For Pratyush Bhaiya ^_^

An impulsive wanderer,
his long energetic strides,
the eyes that dance with amusement
his presence bursts through boundaries
like an unstoppable force of nature,
consuming ,altering
everything in its path
and nothing is ever the same again.

Dedicated to my girlfriend ^_^ ( :P)

Here you go,my dear Azu..

Waves wash her pale,transient feet
and the pink,seemingly delicate shells
that adorn the white sand,like the shells, her delicate exterior
hides her treacherous interiors
like deep ,molten rocks
slowly moving within the surface of the calm,stable earth


The wind blows strands of her soft hair,onto her mask like,deceptive face
her large ,dark eyes
betray the depths of her soul
Her glass like,seemingly breakable body
houses an indestructible spirit within...

And I thought I hit the reader's block

....thank you,Stephanie Meyer.You see,its been a long time since I read a book where I could feel what was happening.Where I could be sympathetic,where I could get angry that I could nearly slap a fictional character,where I could feel happy,where I could feel my nerves fray as the main character goes through endless despair.And where I could cry.Thank you ,not for Twilight saga , (don't get presumptuous :P)...I meant your first sci-fi novel The Host.
Now,I like the Twilight saga for characters like Jacob ,Jasper and werewolves.New Moon was absolutely brilliant in bringing out Bella's depression...it was the best described prose in the book.I am not too fond of the first book though,maybe I have had high expectations.And Edward Cullen is just too perfect for me to digest.Jacob Black ,the flawed ,passionate and nearly immature character's view point made the strongest parts of the haphazard Breaking Dawn.Oh yeah,Leah Clearwater too :D..how can I forget the feisty wolf girl? Edward and Bella just do not do it for me,although I can relate to Bella on many levels.Their romance (I am going to be flamed by OMG-Edward X Bella fans) just makes me yawn and makes me want to skip pages ( I get it he has a nice scent..I get it that Bella is beautiful..I get it that Edward has butter,topaz eyes when he is not thirsty..CAN WE MOVE ON FROM THERE PLEASE?)..I prefer the descriptions of subtle understanding with Jacob instead . I guess Edward and Bella's doomed love is the core of the story(*sighs*).Eclipse was good in bringing out character backgrounds but I felt handling of so many characters made it go haywire.But,Eclipse was still very good.
Now it brings me to The Host. The Host makes me see you mature from the forever swooning Bella Swan to a different female lead.Or leads,a more appropriate term.I like Melanie Stryder's feisty strength,her wild and emotional ways.I like the alien Wanderer ,taking possession of her body's, passive strength.Their story was impossible to put down because there is so much to think about. What would you do if an alien takes possession of your body and mind? Would you surrender in your identity being erased or would you fight for your individuality?
Melanie fills Wanderer's mind with the visions of the man she loves,Jared.Melanie's body reacts to Jared.Yet,Wanderer is emotionally close to Ian O'Shea.So what is love,in essence? Is it spiritual? Emotional,chemical? Conflicted as Wanderer (yes,I know,weird name and the planet she has been on...even weirder *rolls eyes*) feels with her yearning for Jared and confusing comfort with Ian..it is difficult to know.When Wanderer possesses a new body,it is Ian who she chooses...yet she has few echoes of love she felt for Jared.It can be argued that she felt so because Melanie's felt so strongly for Jared that feelings impacted her too.
I have to hand it to Stephanie Meyer for creating this story about complex relationships..especially the one between Melanie and Wanderer,from resigned acceptance of each other to allies with tinges of jealousy.I simply loved the story....but,there buts,of course.The characters of Jared Howe and Ian O' Shea....as in world view of Stephanie Meyer males,are perfect.Of course,that didn't stop me from liking the more compassionate and understanding Ian but still..they both did attack Wanderer when they first met her in Melanie's body and Ian turned more understanding as he grew to understand her (Wanderer) while Jared kept lying to himself,bitter that his lovers body was now an alien's.It disturbed me because they both weren't that distinct,as in..it felt like the same personality put in different situations.The only thing that felt distinct was that Ian was more broad minded that Jared...that's about it.....Jared reminded me of Jacob Black,BTW.(but that didn't stop me from feeling like punching him due to his shabby treatment of Wanderer in the beginning and nearly half of the book)
The eccentric genius Jeb Stryder,the so-annoying-I-wish-I-could-slap Maggie and Sharon Stryder,the so-annoying-that-I will-punch-if I meet-someone-like-her-face-to-face Seeker and the ever enthusiastic Melanie's younger brother Jamie were wonderful characterisations.I liked the idea of surviving in caves made by air pockets inside a volcano so much that I am waiting for an alien invasion where I would be one of the rebels :P.Too bad about thin mattresses and non availability of pillows...but I would get to soak in hot springs though.And you could always push your enemies into scalding rivers and pretend that they just lost their balance and slipped :D
As for the ending,though I liked it...I would have preferred it a sad,more poignant ending.The story would have stayed with me longer if it had a sad ending...
But...to quote the ending lines of The Host...
"It is a strange world.."
"The strangest"I agreed.

Darkness may reign
but your shadow never leaves

It is the weight that anchors me to life

you are the dream that slips away

as I try to capture it..

I am living a dream

that I will never wake up from..

that will never fade away....

Dangerous Desires

~Zero~
There are intimate secrets
that should be buried than told
There are some desires
that are dangerous to know

I have been guilty,
To thirst for the warmth of your blood,
to desire for having your feelings rush within me
in one painful moment..

A loathsome creature,like I,
would drink your blood like an elixir for life
an inexhaustible desire that would drain you
and would leave me in euphoric depression..

~Yuki~

How greedy can I be?
Kaname-sama's blood alone
does not satisfy me.
I try to eclipse the most forbidden of my desires,
to feel the warmth of Zero's blood.
To taste the sadness of his desire,as strong as mine,
pulse through it.

It would send aches into my human heart,
this longing,
the heart that can no longer separate
the now entwined joy and grief.

I am terrified.
This forbidden desire
is the only remnant of my human heart.
I cling to it,I suffer its longing,
because I don't want to lose my humanity.
I don't want to lose myself.

Confessional Letter to Spilts-vela (pun intended)

Dear Splits-Vela,
The only intelligent audience you are going to get is a bunch a hypocrites who find a pathetic show,a host who wears the expression of being completely lost as to what he is doing there,and a bunch of contestants who willingly signed on to make a spectacle of themselves on national television extremely entertaining.
It is truly pitiful what you do to your contestants.Biotechnology may graft human ear on the back of a rat to see if it makes any difference to the rat.In the same grotesque fashion,your contestants are put through a series of twists to show the nation the ugliest sides of human personality.And to show them strings of abuses people can combine and create in one day.Too bad it is beeped out.That would have been very educational.In the end,everyone looks like a jackass chasing a carrot.Or like a guinea pig that has been experimented on.Neither very flattering for any sane person's ego.
I have to hand it to you though. Where did you gather such people from to ship them off for one month of utter jobless-ness in Goa? Planet Desperate or Planet Jobless? Whichever planet they come from,their education differs from ours.Here is a classic example :- King Mohit had said ,"Ritika is a very influential person and someone might have influenced her".Right.
O King! Thou has struck me dumb,please teach me English! And Nalini classifying frogs as 'reptiles'.Clearly,from the planet they come from,they are not amphibians.
And what is with the girls you have picked? I doubt most people would mind skimpily clad girls trying to woo them,but hey, I have a few questions-do you pay them to make their grey cells numb during the show? Are they doing this on purpose? Do they want to make other intelligent women claw their hair out in frustration?Or are they really that dumb?Well,as long as they keep hormone-driven my-brain-is between-my-legs men happy,I guess the show is going to be sailing smoothly.After all,the perception of sexiness the male contestants have on the show is,"Woh kaisi lagti hai,the way she looks,the way she talks.."
I have a message for the contestants though.Is this really what you want? Everything so intrinsic and intimate to you,laid out there for everyone to see and judge? I guess the answer is 'yes' seeing you have auditioned for the show.Oh and Bhav Aman,underestimating the little intelligence your opponents have isn't smart at all.And blind bats have better wit than most contestants on the show who love washing dirty linen in public.

Go milk a cow,
Stop saying ,"where love is war" all the time,we get your point,
With everlasting love,
A hypocrite.

Eclipse

Obliterating every light
the blackest of nights,
a silence in its despair
yet,we learn
to pin the most desperate hope
on the ring of sunlight
emerging from the darkest eclipse...

Stuff from my old blog

Fading Away
she disintegrates into nothingness,
her existence in wisping into dust
she lingers,asking for a capture
or release
the wind blows,
she is carried awaysoon fading away to nothing...

Lambs for Slaughter
Death loomed over them
like the pale fog of winter morning.
Their impulses knew
this air of foreboding.
Their blood curdling screams
extinguished with resigned acceptance of their fate
their fear,agony and pain buried within their silence.

Untitled
I lay curled in my bed
like a vulnerable foetus
struggling for warmth
against the bitter cold
hoping that the hand of the savior
would reach out
as my shivering,pale hands
would accept it

Truth and Lies
The truth prickles the senses,
like stinging cold of ice water..
And the lies spin a cocoon of comfort

What do I prefer?
The lies or the truth?

Do I prefer being taunted by the web of lies
or the sharp relief of the truth?
Do I prefer blissful ignorance
or painful realisation?
Do I prefer being bound by lies
or freed by truth..?

I may never know
whether I am happier..
with the truth or the lies..

Raindrops and Tears
Its raining.
Can you tell the difference between the raindrops and my tears?

Is rain a form of deep sorrow....
of a heart broken above?
The flood of tears it sheds
awash with pain,and love
that is not returned

Or just an expression of love,
after a long drought of faith?
a relief for the earth,
that waited so long ,parched,and dry.

I wish I could tell,
the difference between raindrops and my tears.

Broken Clay Doll
The beautiful doll of clay
lay on the floor,broken and uncared for,
with remnants of its former beauty
present in broken clay shards.
I tried to piece them together,
the shards don't cooperate
they graze my hand
and my hands bleed
as the shards fall flat again.

Darkness
Alluring,mysterious darkness,
it holds me enraptured
its presence is formless and elusive that it is felt
but cannot be captured
It does not paint the world in bright colours nor lend it any beauty
It pictures it plain and artless, like the truth that is bitter and painful
It leaves a sense of ambiguity,it does not reveal more than it has been asked
it beckons me,it keeps me at a distance
it touches me,but it does not envelop me
It puzzles me.
But when the lights are on,it is the intoxicating presence of the darkness
I miss.